man

I dug deeply into the corners of my purse searching for spare change, just a toonie or loonie to pass through my window before the light changed green “come on purse!”

I knew in about three minutes the cars behind me would scream on their horns with discontent threaded with road rage in this angst that moves us along our hum drum catatonic road of life.

He stood there holding a sign that read in broken English, “hungry need money for food, wife dead, three children.”

Walking slowly to those cars lined up behind my car his expressionless face held some remnants of hope, hope that a hand of compassion would reach out to drop a coin for his cause; my car’s unwelcome window as many others was rolled up tight.

Second in line behind the light I dug faster as I watched him five cars down through my rear view mirror; the hand on the light flashed warning that the moment would soon pass. “Damn, not even an emergency grocery cart quarter!”

My purse was a usual disorganized mess of crumbs, old receipts and unused plastic point cards. “Why???? I usually have something!”

An epiphany came over me! My hand felt the smooth bills in the corner pocket of my purse; the 20’s I had withdrawn a few hours ago for our family’s weekly jar money , a new thing I was trying in hopes to keep us on track with our monthly spending.

I pulled out a twenty not even looking at my partner to see if he would agree or disagree. My guy knows when I have my mind made up I usually dig my heels in stubbornly; when I need to give I give.

I rolled down my window as the light began to change and yelled “sir, sir”, he was still at least 2 cars behind my car but I could see him walking back slowly in my rear view mirror. I held my arm out the window “sir!” yelling louder.

He appeared to the left of my window as the light changed, I had slowly begun to release my foot of the break. I smiled as I said “I couldn’t find any change but I hope a 20 will be okay!” He quickly stuffed the bill in his pocket not saying a word unlike most I give to who often murmur the seemingly grateful response of “God bless you.” No not a word from this man and not even a change in his facial expression. From his khaki pants and sweater I wondered if this may have been his first time on this highway corner.

No matter what his story I knew I did right by me and my heart felt good! Perhaps he did have kids to feed, and even if he didn’t “who am I to judge?”

I drove away with my kids unusually quiet in the back seat, my partner quiet beside me and a tear in my eye. I knew at that moment this was exactly what I was supposed to do and because I could, I felt blessed.

I have posted a video link below of a clip I watched a couple years ago. I also worked with one of the gentlemen in this video, Daniel Cullen a published author who had struggles with homelessness for many years; last I heard he was still facing many challenges. At the time I met Daniel he was working on bringing awareness to the public about the issues faced by those experiencing homelessness in the Brampton and Peel area where we both live; working with him was an eye opener to the issues in Peel. Ill never forget how he introduced me to the corners of support and sadness in the Brampton area. I never knew there were places like Regeneration whose team feed an amazing breakfast to everyone walking through their door on a daily basis just downtown Brampton. I also had the pleasure of serving at a Linda’s soup kitchen another spot I never knew of in Brampton working effortlessly to provide hot lunches to those in need. My heart still remembers my own poverty as a child and how I believe many of us could be just a few pay checks away from homelessness should our conditions change. Please watch this video and bring awareness to yourself and others if you can.

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