MY PLACE – POETRY , AFFIRMATIONS & MORE

Being Canadian I expect snow and ice in the winter, a lot of it; and rarely does it ever frighten me, till today that is. Things are now different, possibly forever as today I thought I was going to die, really die!

I was surprised to see snow when I went outside this morning to warm up my seventeen year old Toyota Corella; a small gas efficient, reliable beater whose tiny engine coughs and sputters even in -1 below weather. The new fallen snow perhaps the second or third dusting of winters breath so far this year as we have been getting “a mild one in Ontario” as they would say. We had a green Christmas too which is not the norm but not a first for me having lived in Ontario since my late teens; winter here tends to be unpredictable and you never really know what to expect day to day.

I was running behind this morning, as usual, so I didn’t even have time for my five minutes of CP24. I hardly ever watch the news except in the morning to see what going on out there on the roads before I leave for work, however today I had no time. I remember reading someone’s post on Facebook last night about how the temperature would drop and how it was going to get cold overnight but I did not see anything about snow fall.

With no jacket I began to brush the foam like snow off my car, “it was cold what was I thinking!” I laughed a little as I thought to myself “get over it girl; you grew up in Labrador ehh! This is nothing!” I continued to brush off my car as I traveled back in my mind to my youth and thought about the thick snow covered roads and mountains of snow I would wake up to see as a child. Overnight the winds would howl and the frost always so thick on the windows you could not even see outside once the coldness reached November each year. I remember the frost thick inside the windowpanes as well as outside, crystallized beauty and creativity crackled in such a way only Mother Nature had the skill to create. As kids we would use out hot breath to carve out a small peep hole to try and see what was going on outside in hopes we had another snow day to look forward too. The wrath of winter often would result in high snow drifts blown up against every second story window of every house on my street, having to get shoveled out just to get to school. Yes I was born and bred a true Canadian accustomed to real winters having grown up in Newfoundland and Labrador, this really was nothing, “I must be getting old.”

Since leaving home at the age of eighteen I rarely have experienced a harsher winter than Labrador, unless going home for Christmas of course. Winter can be cold and yucky here too but to compare the two you would say Toronto (GTA) is the Florida of Canadian winters.

Already running late for work I thought about how the roads would add to my lateness; I grumbled under my breath, “what a horrible way to start of my Monday morning and my week”.

I have never been one of those nervous winter drivers, but I could tell as soon as I left my house and began driving that the roads were very slippery. My first guess was that no one must have known there would be snow today, it was like the salt trucks were not even out to salt the roads last night. I looked at the time again, “oh God I would be at least twenty minutes late for work, if not more.” I continued to drive carefully as I didn’t have any snow tires for my little car and hoped the main roads would be better.

Less than ten minutes after leaving home I approached an intersection, the light was turning from green to yellow so I pressed slightly down on my break to slow my car. I had been driving slow and cautious anyway but I could not feel any real traction beneath my tires, a true testament that the road was just as slippery as I thought. To my left I could see a tractor trailer barreling down the road towards the intersection, he was going fast, too fast! It was then I realized “Oh my God I’m sliding!” I pressed my foot down harder on the break as I continued to slide into oncoming traffic. The tractor trailer screamed closer and closer with no signs of slowing down. My mind flipped through all of the things I knew about sliding on ice, 1) turn into the slide “I could not do that I’m sliding forward!” 2) Do not press down on the breaks “I could NOT do that, I had to stop!” 3) Look in the direction that you want to go, “I couldn’t do that there was NO safe direction, I had to stoppppppppp!” Then I did the only thing I could do, I closed my eyes as tight as I could as I held on as hard as I could. In my mind all I could think is “this kind of impact would not be survivable, not in my wee little car and not with his speed and size.”

I don’t remember seeing or even thinking anything else except “Oh My God, Oh God! People always say they see their life flash before their eyes when they think they will die; well I wonder if that’s true as today I only seen death flash before my eyes, not life.

My car was not moving anymore. I opened my eyes as the midsection of the tractor trailer whooshed past my car; the wind tunnel from the speed shook me. First thing I thought was “Oh my God how is it even possible he missed me!” I wondered if the driver even noticed my almost near death experience, “maybe he moved over, I just dont know.” I sat there and all I could do was guesstimate the distance from my front end to that truck, “the truck could not have been more than two feet from me, yes really just two feet!”

I covered my eyes and felt the rush of emotion flood over me; I put my car into reverse and slowly backed up. I could see a car behind me but I still had to move back as I was still about three or four feet out into the intersection; still in shock to be alive.

I think it was only then that my life flashed before my eyes. I thought about how I woke up my oldest and told him how disappointed I was that he didn’t finish his chores last night, “wow I would have hated to leave this earth with those words as my last my words to him.”

As reality settled in I wanted to throw up, I wanted to go home and hide underneath my blankets and cry myself to sleep. I felt my eyes fill with tears as the car behind me nudged closer without a sound as if he knew or witnessed my near escape from the clutches of death. I turned on my clicker , then pushed on the gas slowly as I turned right heading down the road towards work, terrified yet thankful for my life. I wanted to go home but I knew I had to keep going; I had to go forward, no matter how hard.

I know today I faced almost certain death; I’m not sure how or why my car stopped sliding, or why that truck didn’t cream me! I also can’t help but wonder if it was my last call out that made the difference!  “God was that you again? Thanks a bunch!”

My shoulder hurts like hell, damn Canadian winters!

Written by: Corrina Leblond

Image :winter in Canada – Winter Photo (645104) – Fanpop